the ezzo nazi
I interviewed a parent today with views so radical it makes my head spin.
I mean, come on:
* Putting an infant in a playpen with just two toys and dangling a big ticking clock nearby so the baby will learn that she has to stay put, whether she likes it or not, until time is up? (and time could be an hour for a 1-year-old)
* Forcing a newborn baby into a parent-directed routine of feeding every 2 1/2 hours and no sooner, so the kid learns to finish a full meal in (at max) 1/2 hour?
* Leaving the baby to cry it out in the cot for up to 45 minutes so she will learn that she has to sooth herself?
* Training the baby to be independent by ignoring her cries for attention will make her more secure?
* Forcing the baby's hands down whenever she wants to play with her food because she must learn table manners from the start? (What the lady says is that re-training is always difficult. Must train from the start)
It's mind-boggling. But, to be fair, she did raise her two daughters this way and they are apparently very good, stable, independent girls. Click here to see the girls.
She is the local representative of a Christian method of parenting called Babywise, which in a nutshell aims to train babies according to what the parents dictate. To them, demand feeding is bad, co-sleeping breeds needy insecure babies and random play is sin. Instead of assuming that babies are inherently good, Ezzo folks believe that babies are born bad.
What I found far more interesting was this website which has loads of articles blasting the Ezzo (that's the name of the founders) method.
So why is she teaching this method of parenting under a Government-sanctioned parenting course? Parents who, thinking that it must be OK because the Government okays it, may not know that this method has been associated with malnourished babies (because of the strict feeding schedule) and possibly babies who feel insecure and unloved.
Whatever it is, she certainly lambasted the method by which I raise Day. (I didn't say it was me, of course). When I said, so should babies be allowed to play freely and roam the house? Her reply: A toddler with too much idle time is one that will get into trouble. Going to the hi-fi, playing in the kitchen (he does both ALL the time) should be a no-no. Babies should have zero freedom.
Yeesh.
And to think I let him have free rein with the garden hose the other day.
But to be fair, I'm sure there are some good points about it as it has worked for many babies. It is good to have routines and there must be a line between trying to be a cool, young parent mucking things up with the kid (as I tend to) and a disciplinarian cum authority figure (not me... yet).
I keep wondering now, what if Day turns out to be an ill-disciplined, attention-seeking brute with no respect for authority, property or good behaviour? Oh dear. I will eat my words then.
After all, all of us (me and brothers) were raised using methods similar to the Babywise method. Chucked in a playpen for hours with a milk bottle which we could help ourselves to when we were hungry and a pillow for when we were sleepy.
I think we turned out good.
I mean, come on:
* Putting an infant in a playpen with just two toys and dangling a big ticking clock nearby so the baby will learn that she has to stay put, whether she likes it or not, until time is up? (and time could be an hour for a 1-year-old)
* Forcing a newborn baby into a parent-directed routine of feeding every 2 1/2 hours and no sooner, so the kid learns to finish a full meal in (at max) 1/2 hour?
* Leaving the baby to cry it out in the cot for up to 45 minutes so she will learn that she has to sooth herself?
* Training the baby to be independent by ignoring her cries for attention will make her more secure?
* Forcing the baby's hands down whenever she wants to play with her food because she must learn table manners from the start? (What the lady says is that re-training is always difficult. Must train from the start)
It's mind-boggling. But, to be fair, she did raise her two daughters this way and they are apparently very good, stable, independent girls. Click here to see the girls.
She is the local representative of a Christian method of parenting called Babywise, which in a nutshell aims to train babies according to what the parents dictate. To them, demand feeding is bad, co-sleeping breeds needy insecure babies and random play is sin. Instead of assuming that babies are inherently good, Ezzo folks believe that babies are born bad.
What I found far more interesting was this website which has loads of articles blasting the Ezzo (that's the name of the founders) method.
So why is she teaching this method of parenting under a Government-sanctioned parenting course? Parents who, thinking that it must be OK because the Government okays it, may not know that this method has been associated with malnourished babies (because of the strict feeding schedule) and possibly babies who feel insecure and unloved.
Whatever it is, she certainly lambasted the method by which I raise Day. (I didn't say it was me, of course). When I said, so should babies be allowed to play freely and roam the house? Her reply: A toddler with too much idle time is one that will get into trouble. Going to the hi-fi, playing in the kitchen (he does both ALL the time) should be a no-no. Babies should have zero freedom.
Yeesh.
And to think I let him have free rein with the garden hose the other day.
But to be fair, I'm sure there are some good points about it as it has worked for many babies. It is good to have routines and there must be a line between trying to be a cool, young parent mucking things up with the kid (as I tend to) and a disciplinarian cum authority figure (not me... yet).
I keep wondering now, what if Day turns out to be an ill-disciplined, attention-seeking brute with no respect for authority, property or good behaviour? Oh dear. I will eat my words then.
After all, all of us (me and brothers) were raised using methods similar to the Babywise method. Chucked in a playpen for hours with a milk bottle which we could help ourselves to when we were hungry and a pillow for when we were sleepy.
I think we turned out good.
This entry was posted by Sher, on
Thursday, April 14, 2005.
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My dear, think "The Little Prince" vs "Brave New World".
We all love TLP and shudder at BNW, so... I shudder to think that this whatever method is government endorsed. :|
I read the whole book of "babywise"! and we tried to instil it during Alison's first two months. Only problem she had gastric reflux and couldn't eat full meals , so we ended up with a vomitting baby. We stopped the schedule pronto. My friend followed the method and her kid slept through the night since 4 months and is very obedient. Alison still wakes up twice a night (on good nights) and more on bad! With my lack of sleep becoming a health issue ( fallen sick many times this year man!), I don't know if i should have been stricter. Sigh.
I'm really shocked that the government endorses/sactions/approves of Ezzo's Babywise.
The American medical community has spoken out firmly against Babywise, because it is rife with medical and developmental misinformation.
Every baby is different and some respond well to strict schedules while others don't.
I read "Babywise" and am very concerned that he seems to make up out of thin air examples to illustrate his ideas. He constantly says that "studies" support his methods, but never gives details of a particular study. He has no medical qualifications and no psychological training either.
My advice is to be careful about judging the results by looking as how "well-behaved" the child appears to be. For many years I deeply hated and resented the strict methods my father used to discipline me, yet wherever we went he boasted about how well-behaved my sister and I were. We were well-behaved outwardly but inwardly we were miserable and lack freedom to express it.
Children in orphanages, who have very little one-on-one contact, and who are left to cry on their own when they can't be attended to ... well, they become what appears to be very "well-behaved." In reality, they shut down. They learn that their cries mean nothing.
I'm a former Ezzo-ite who has happily converted to Dr. Sears. I'm a mother of three and a foster mom. My first child came out of the womb with severe reflux, and we promptly burned the book in the middle of our living room (did a little dance around it, if I recall).
My friend started this EZZO parenting program ago and got great resistance from family. I read up and found it disturbing. Typically, the program is a money spinning tool for the author disregarding the well being of baby. For me, the infants are no difference fron Lab rats. Sad.
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