bye, 2008

In the last hours of 2008, I drive out alone to buy coffee for KK and Hokkien Mee for all to share.

When I return with supper, a flying cockroach pays us a visit. As I arm myself with a roll of newspaper, KK runs upstairs to hide. My 23-year-old brother Teng scoots to a far-away corner of the living room. My mother runs off.

As I whack down the newspaper, I miss and the cockroach scuttles. My problem is not cockroach phobia, really, it’s more my poor aim. In the background, Teng screams. And screams. And screams, as I miss again and again.

Finally, as the cockroach circles back to me, I pound it straight on and it stops. I pound, five more times for good measure.

Day – who I reckon is wondering if he should, like all the other men in the house, run from the damned creature – asks me: “Mummy, you beat so hard the cockroach’s legs are all bent?”

I say yes. And I ask if anyone would be so kind as to dispose of the squashed bug. Of course, no one wants to get near it so I take a tissue and I do the deed.

The point being?

2008 is the year I figured I can pretty much do anything if I put my mind to it.

Give birth sans epidural by choice, balance 3 kids, earn money, drive a car, park a car, memorize routes from road directories to strange places, bring 3 kids outdoors, manage a hellion and come out unscathed, stand on a stage in front of 1,000 people and make up violin harmonies to pop songs I have never heard before.

Biggest challenge of all: Dee.

Most satisfying: It’d have to be the driving. Incredible how I actually find it therapeutic now.

2009 will demand even more out of me, out of us. But I welcome it.

Happy New Year, everyone.

* New Year’s Eve, all the kids are sick. I was wrong. The virus is lethal through and through. Only KK is standing tall. He says: "Thank goodness I am here to look after all of you."

sick lu

With every child we wait, holding our breaths, for the time when they are so sick we have to bring them to the doc: Not including routine vaccinations and piddling fevers which go away via home medication.

We try to hold out for as long as we can!

With Day, it took 10 months.

With Dee, it took seven months.

With Lu it finally happened today, at nine months.

She got a fever Friday morning, lasted all through Saturday. Our thermometer wasn’t working and we couldn't quite be bothered (so lazy with the third child!) but just kissing her forehead, she burnt our lips.

Saturday evening we tried going round to find a doctor but all five clinics were closed.

We kept giving her fever meds from our last polyclinic visit but she remained consistently hot, stayed consistently limp and just slept a lot. She was utterly and completely miserable, limbs and head flopping like limp seaweed.

Finally we brought her in this morning to the family doctor.

Her temperature – which was considerably cooler than the night before – was 39.2 degrees Celsius.

He prescribed antibiotics and what is probably more effective fever meds.

Straightaway, her fever went down. She got sprightly again.

Unfortunately, though, she’s completely lost her appetite. She shuns the breast which got me panicking a bit. I reckon the antibiotics deadened or did something to her taste buds.

* Interesting. As we share the virus, we are all, again, affected to different degrees but it's a consistent difference. KK is perfectly fine. Day has a little runny nose but that’s about it. Dee has a little bit of a fever and a runny nose. I suffer throbbing headaches, fever and a horrible runny nose but I get better after some sleep. Lu is stoned. The girls, it seems, are more vulnerable.

christmas

Christmas Day, we spent recovering from Christmas Eve.

Presents, I got for other kids but not my own. I don’t know why: Perhaps I’d rather give them things when nobody else is giving them any!

KK made a pit-stop at Vivocity and got us all goodies. Gap stuff for me and Dee, and a Man U soccer ball for Day.

The boys tried it out at East Coast Park.



KK taught Day how to stop the ball and kick the ball with his in-step. A little instruction goes a long way.

And really, there is poetic beauty in a boy learning how to play soccer. There is something so innately fluid and natural the way they go about it. Day is definitely much better at this than the monkey bars.



Me, I yelled at KK to let me have a go with Day. I think I looked a total klutz and I’m grateful KK didn’t laugh out loud.

Dee drew lines in the sand.



Dee was togged out in her new outfit and new pink and white bag, which was a really fortuitous present since I didn’t get a replacement for her lost one.



As for Lu, Christmas Day was the FIRST time she uttered a word! Ba-Ba!

christmas eve

Food is the order of the day.

LUNCH



There is a Christmas lunch at Day’s school, the culmination of a three-day Christmas camp during which they went to the Pasir Ris Park, baked Christmas muffins adorned with cranberries (Day: “I don't like cranberries!”) and did loads of Christmas crafts.

Christmas carols are playing on the CD player, all the tables are covered with tablecloths and the table décor is little Christmas trees decorated with boxes made by the kids.



The principal’s mother – the school cook – whips up simple fare of sausages, garlic rice, mixed vegetables and satay. Why satay? Principal tells me: “I wanted to get turkey but they (gesturing to the kids) all said they wanted satay”.

Dee is invited too. She obediently eats up all her vegetables because the teachers tell her to (but never when I tell her to). She needs to go to school.



At the end of it all, Day brings home a log cake which he had made himself in the morning by submerging a Swiss roll under loads of chocolate cream, lots of coloured balls and a Santa. I am suitably impressed.



DINNER

Christmas dinner, an annual event, is at Uncle Ling's place.

After saying grace, we attack the turkey, sausage, ham, kueh pie tee, a whole steamed cauliflower drowning in mushroom sauce, pasta, fruit salad and more.

The children are the stars.

Dawn's 12-day-old baby girl, Danielle. Grandfather (Uncle Ling) is in the background.



Angelika, my air stewardess cousin’s baby. Her father is Malay, hence the beautiful eyes the size and shape of 10-cent coins.



And Day in his coat of many colours, watching Pocoyo with Janine.

my monkeys

One, however, is a more natural monkey than the other.

Day struggles. He grits his teeth, swings his legs up (he even tries to make a little run at the start so he can get the required momentum) then he doesn't know what to do with the legs. He is overall dreadfully unnatural.



Dee triumphs. Give her a bar, any bar, she grips it and in one fluid motion UP go her legs and there they are, between her hands, tickling the bar. Completely effortless, bars always make her smile.



Funny, Day is the one born in the Monkey year.

Then again maybe it's because Dee has really short (and hence not so heavy) legs.

concert rehearsal

I brought the two big ones out for a post-dinner treat the other night.

To a music rehearsal.

All the way from Upper East Coast to The Old School at Sophia Road, it was a big departure from routine and a huge adventure – Going out at night! Mummy is driving! Will we make it in one piece?

The event: A rehearsal by re: mix, the little orchestra I used to play with, but no longer can because of the 3 kids: It’s awful hard work for KK to have to look after all 3 at night and there are an awful number of rehearsals on consecutive nights.

The concert’s Sunday, at the Esplanade recital studio, and is (in usual re: mix style) very palatable. They’re playing Abba, Beyond, bossa nova and xinyao.

The kids had a swell time!

Not least because The Old School is the most interesting place with a very authentic old vibe which seems to feed artistic expression.



We armed ourselves with Pocky and canned drinks from Sinema - which only screens local movies and sells things like limited editions of the (now defunct) Big O magazine – and plonked ourselves into the rehearsal studio to watch.



They loved the music (they caught Beyond), loved watching the kitchen section which they were right behind (kitchen meaning the drums, congas, djambes, triangles and other exotic percussions).

Day tried his hand on a couple of timpanis, while Dee craned her neck this way and that and said very loudly, on more than one occasion: “I can’t see the uncle! Don’t block!” (Uncle referring to conductor and solo violinist Foo Say Ming)

There is good reason why kids below 5 should never be allowed to step into a concert hall.

9 months of lu

There are two doors through which I can reach my husband every night (he lives in the balcony).

Door 1 on the left is where Day and Dee sleep.

Door 2 on the right is where baby Lu sleeps.

Once upon a time, I’d always tiptoe through Door 2. For fear that if I walked through Door 1, Dee might catch sight of me and pounce.

But since last week, I have only walked through Door 1.

Lu has become a terror.

Her sleep patterns – not that it was very consistent to being with - have gone out the window. She sleeps less than an hour the entire day.

When she does sleep, she jerks up screaming after less than 30 minutes and, though cranky and blue, refuses to go back to sleep.

At night, it’s the same. The smallest creak, a ray of light, a voice, it’s like somebody gave her an injection.

KK has resorted to doing away with the cot and sleeping with Lu on a mattress on the ground. She is now his bed-mate.



It’s part of a general behavioural blip.

When she bathes, she refuses to sit down nicely. She insists on standing up and well, when a slippery soapy baby who can’t stand more for five seconds on her own wants to stand up throughout her bath, it just means a lot of work for the person bathing her.

When she eats, she spits. Blows it all out through mouth farts.

So. While Dee has become better, Lu has become worse. The net effect: I tear out about the same amount of hair each day.

property watch

I’m no expert. But a year on from our last attempt, it may be a good time for us to get our own nest.

The other day, while cycling in my slippers and shorts, I wander into a site slated for a new condo development. For fun (no way we are getting a condo).

The billboards outside screams: “Freehold! Deferred payment! Launching soon!”

Past the billboards are the empty old apartments, which have not been torn down. Incongruously tacked to the front are two glass houses: The showflat and the office.

The bespectacled agent in the glass house is startled when he sees me. He rises and sits down again, as if unsure if what he is seeing is for real.

I park the bike and push open the glass door.

The agent, who has stood up by this time, regains his composure and diligently runs his spiel: Fifty-nine units. Where the best unit is. Facilities.

I ask to see the showflat, which is all I really wanted to do anyway.

He fumbles for the keys to unlock the unit, unsure of where he put it. He says: “Sorry, the aircon in the showflat is off. No point switching it on.”

I ask: “No one has seen it today?”

He looks at me and raises an eyebrow. “No. I have been here since 10am and you are the first person who has come in.”

It was 6pm. On a Saturday.

I ask: “It hasn’t been launched yet?”

He replies: “No. Now it’s by appointment only.”

How much per square foot?

He says, while unlocking the big wooden door: “Thousand. That’s what the developer wants. They think we are miracle workers.”

After a pause, he adds: “I’m the only agent here because there’s no point for all of us to sit here and waste time.”

We tour the stuffy showflat. He does his best, diligently pointing out all the space-saving features. I admire the toilet showerhead and resist an overwhelming urge to pick up the cornflakes box in the kitchen to see if it really contains cornflakes.

At the end, we return to the office where he computes prices. (A million one thousand, for a three-bedroom 1,023 square feet unit)

He says: “If you are interested, contact me and we can work something out.” Not unless you give me a 50% discount, Mister.

I see a couple walking in.

“Hey!” I tell him, “You have got more business!”

He looks up. “No lah. They’re the caretakers. I’m closing shop.”

miss sweet

* Photo by Ethan's daddy, Colin

I am certain this time is IT.

In the last week, Dee has suddenly (finally) done a 360 degree on us.

After nine long months (since Lu’s birth) of war and terror, all of a sudden, she is pleasant to live with.

I can’t begin to say how significant it is. In our family newspaper, this would be News of the Year for sheer impact.

Why now? I don’t know.

I just know that in the few weeks past, we had been extra militant as her histrionics had reached fever pitch. In response, KK turned her out of the house and shut the door a couple of times. I would chuck her in the toilet and close the door for three minutes until she shut up and I cooled down enough to tell her why she was being punished.

Maybe in response she’s wisened up?

But I just know, she’s changed. Being with her day in, day out, hammered by her screaming demands, I can pinpoint the exact day of change to be Tuesday (9 Dec) after the Hari Raya Puasa weekend.

She hasn’t suddenly gone all sweet on me. She’s still stubborn as hell, very petulant and mopey.

But – and here’s the Big But - she finally opened her ears on Tuesday. She actually LISTENS.

The only discipline method I have ever wanted to use – reasoning – actually works on her now.

She is mostly co-operative, understands why she has to stick to certain rules, and life for us all – from us to kids to grandparents – is much better.

Just as importantly, she UNDERSTANDS much faster. The marathon screaming sessions are capped at a few minutes.

She sleeps properly – one afternoon nap – willingly releases me at night after my bedtime tale (and I do mean release because she lifts up the arm around my neck before cheerfully giving me permission “OK mummy, you can go to work now!”) and bathes without fuss.

And last of all, she gives me my SPACE. Suddenly, she allows me to get off when I need to. As long as I tell her what I am doing and that I will "come back fast" she waves me off.

The screams have been mostly replaced by petulant I-don’t-like-you’s which she yells out very loudly just ONCE. Or TWICE.

Oh my God. Who cares if she doesn’t like me?

What’s more important is that we all like her a lot more now. Without the screaming, she is loveable and (can be) sweet as hell.

We really like not having to see her like this 10 times a day.



What happened? What did we do? How did she get better?

I really have no idea. If I were religious, I'd say God answered our prayers.

When it comes to kids, there is really very little we can control, try as we might.

balloon lollipops

Along came a waiter and he miraculously conjured two balloon lollipops for the kids.

Damn cute, these balloons on a straw. And how the kids were tickled!

engineer's lingo

LU'S BATH-TIME

KK is the Master Bather, I assist. As she is sitting in the bathtub, KK gestures for me to lift Lu a little.

He adds: "I want to wash her undercarriage."

DAY MISBEHAVES

We don't bring Day to the bookstore. He whines about how we are not being fair and how, when he is a big boy, he will go off all by himself to do whatever he wants.

I tell him: Sure, go off and do whatever you want when you can take care of yourself. But right now, you are a little boy and we have to look after you. When we are together as a family or when you are with other people, we can't always do what you want to do.

KK adds: "Son, you want to be a Really Useful Engine."

Day: "And I'm now a Troublesome Truck right? Because I am complaining?"

KK: "Absolutely."

The engineers connect with very few words. I'm just a naggy preachy long-winded mum.

dearth of photos

Just because.



My poor third child has nary a photo of herself. December I've only taken six photos of her. SIX!

It's really true, for me at least: Diminishing number of photos with each successive child. Even awareness and knowledge of the syndrome doesn't make me take more photos of Lu.

Of course she's been doing some major growing up, but it just sort of rolls by unobtrusively because we've seen it twice.

Sad? Not necessarily. She does her growing up in peace, without unwarranted attention, scrutiny and squealing. For sure she is a happy spirit. With a nicely thickening crop of hair.

marina barrage

Reservoir on the left, sea on the right.

It’s just a reservoir, right.

Singapore’s newest, the only one in the city.

But boy, we like it. I don’t know what used to be there, but it’s only at times like these that I appreciate Singapore’s penchant for change.

For one, it’s an incredibly nice place to just hang out. (on a cool day)



Two, it’s free (apart from the two eating places – some Western food joint and a Hainanese Western food bistro). Anyone can traipse all over the greens, walk over the bridge, sit under the shades, enjoy the view of the reservoir / Singapore skyline / Singapore Flyer, tour the exhibition.

Three, it’s good for the kids.

There is space, so much of it, and slopes, for them to run up and down.



Day again, skipping on the stone benches which rimmed the rooftop field.



Though Dee refused to come out of her pram, the furthest she went was to look at the sea in papa's arms.



Some people flew kites.



There is water. Not only in the reservoir (green) and sea (blue) where kids can play ship-spotting, but in a water playground for kids, which I will go back to check out with my trio one of these days (no time today).

And there’s the free exhibition: The Sustainable Singapore Gallery.


Dee admiring the water wall.

Which wasn’t an academic treatise on how the water is filtered from the sea, but is quite the playground.

Gallery 1: Which featured a giant wall of empty Newater bottles.



And an "organic tree" with a floor-facing TV which fascinated KK and Day.



Gallery 2: TVs which slide left and right on a rail, giant plastic drops on a vertical wire which the kids spun madly round and round, and special blue floor tiles which temporarily show foot imprints and which had the kids jumping madly up and down. It was madness.



Gallery 5: Clear floors over a map of Singapore with little blocks and trees and people. Day had a field day scampering from Marine Parade (where we are) to Bukit Panjang (where his grandparents are), spotting places he knows (Ang Mo Kio where Uncle Chong stays) while Dee preferred to sit on the floor and watch the slide show on Singapore's water.



Lu had a miserable time, though. Cranky, sleepy and hungry. But just so she knows we brought her, here's the evidence.



Oh and another very big reason why we like it: Not many people go. Yet. Maybe because it's new, maybe because it's so out of the way.

random snatches

ON THE NEWS

Day, after watching the Channel 5 news bulletin which shows Singaporeans returning from Thailand after the week-long airport blockade by demonstrators. The camera zooms in on a little girl sobbing when she sees her grandmother, who was stuck in Thailand for a week, emerge.

Day: Why is she crying?
Me: Because she missed her grandmother.
Day: What happened to her grandmother? Did she die?
Me: No. She was stuck in Thailand.
Day: Why was she stuck in Thailand?
Me: (wondering how to go on) Because the airport was shut down and the aeroplanes there could not bring her home.
Day: Why?
Me: Because some people were unhappy with the Government and they were making a protest.
Day: What's a Government?
Me: Er. (Very long pause) They run a country. Every country has a Government to make sure that the people are happy and safe.
Day: How come the little girl's grandmother did not talk to the Government?
Me: Er... er...
Day: Why can't she take a train back to Singapore?
Me: Er... well. Trains take a long time and er...
Day: Haiya! OK never mind, sleep sleep sleep.

ON CHRISTMAS

Me: Day, what do you want for Christmas?
Day: Can I have a train from Vivocity please?
Me: We'll see. Jody, what do you want for Christmas?
Dee: Monies. I want monies.
( And when I give her some coins for a lark...)
Dee: No I don't want coins. I want paper.

aimless art

One boring afternoon, lots of scraps of paper, aimless drawing.

I think it's quite obvious who drew what.

He never deviates from the same theme. He's gotten very lassez-faire about his drawing, which he used to put so much care into. Maybe art is just a phase he's outgrown! This is supposed to be the Malaysian Railway, which we passed on our way back from Vivocity.



Her lines and loops. Her favourite drawing tool: Pens. Best is V5 and V7 pens, the felt-tip kind, not ballpoint. Her drawings remain uni-colour. She hates colouring.



And she produces a face! Her first face!



And lastly, my I-have-nothing-better-to-do doodle.



I like drawing with the kids. It's very insightful.

shopping with dee

Another parental fantasy: Little girls and their mummies go shopping together.

The other day I brought Dee shopping with me.

It’s a blue-moon affair. I hardly shop and when I do, I hate bringing the kids along.

But this time, in the hour we dumped Day at his school concert venue for pre-concert rehearsal, KK took off with Lu and I hung out with Dee at Vivocity.


"I love shopping!!!"

Slinging her little brown bag over her shoulder – a remarkably good bag picked up from somebody’s rubbish by my mother-in-law – she traipsed along as I went from Topshop to Warehouse to Forever 21.

That day, she proved an excellent companion. She sat still in one corner as I browsed the racks.

In the Warehouse dressing room, as I stepped out of my heels, she prettily asked if she could please wear them and I snapped a picture.



I couldn’t resist. Here we go again, she with her arm flung over my shoulder.



In the end, I got nothing. Worse, we lost something: The casualty from our shopping expedition was Dee’s brown bag, which she left behind on a seat and which I, er, carelessly neglected to take.

She was devastated. Couldn’t get over the fact that somebody had the temerity to take HER bag.

But you know what? Looks like she is amenable to going shopping together with mummy. (Day would be bounding all over, bored stiff and clamouring to go see trains)

And she’s got a whole stash of unwanted bags at my mother-in-law’s to pick a new one from, so she’s OK.