Day
He is in Primary 2 and he is
going through his first ever exam. He didn’t have exams in Primary 1.
A few other mums call and SMS
me with slightly frantic questions which freak me out a bit: What revision?
What worksheet? What test? TOMORROW?
At the moment his nose is
mostly buried in story books, not textbooks, and I’m not sure if he knows how
to study or if I need to teach him how to.
Day is cool: Yes, there’s a
test tomorrow but don’t worry about it.
I do. Because his grades are not
always great. And his complete lack of concern (perhaps mine too!) is slightly jarring.
But I leave it there anyway,
with one rejoinder: If he wishes to be left alone the way he has been left
alone, with no assessment books or mock test papers or drilling at home, he had
better score damn well in the exam.
Which is my way of pushing all
responsibility for his own grades to him, the carrot being his own independence
and nothing more.
He nods and asks: What is
“damn well”?
KK
This is KK’s fourth try now,
to try and cross the Professional Engineering hurdle.
It’s become familiar to me and the kids, like an annual Qing Ming ritual or Christmas party.
It’s the only time in the year
when we head downtown on a working weekday evening to the SMU campus, and
wait for papa to come out with a whole lot of other men who are similarly
dragging textbook-filled trolley bags around.
He, however, seems to be the
only candidate with a posse of one big and three small cheerleaders madly jumping
outside the door to try and see him through the glass slit.
* KK in white at the back
The lead-up to the big event
has also been the same for four years: The nightly studying which starts
several months before, his overcast mien on his birthday (which always takes
place a few weeks before the exam) and my having to take over all household
duties for a while.
Also similar every year is the
same strange mix of relief and despondency as he walks out of the exam hall and
sighs.
What I have figured, if I
could use a cooking analogy, is that he specializes in baking desserts
(geotechnical) but in order to get the qualification he has to pass a test in
Chinese stir-frying (structures).
Which is what makes it so hard
because he doesn’t stir-fry, and he isn’t interested in stir-frying, at all.
The boys talk about their
respective exams and cucumber-cool Day, who is having a much easier time of it
than his papa, asks KK: What if you fail again?
KK replies: Try again lor.
This year is also particularly
special because while waiting for KK, a worker beckons us to finish up the
remnants of a buffet! Free food! Sausage buns, carrot cake and curry puff!
The kids, for the first time,
see the huge trays of food being thrown away into a black trash bag and they,
who are made to finish up every grain of rice on their plates, are aghast at
the wastage.
Jo, the eternal questioner, is
distressed and grills me: Why must they throw the food away? Why can’t they
keep it so other people who are hungry can eat? Why can’t they pack it? Why
must they throw it away at 5pm? Why can’t they wait a while?
Jo
On a good note, Jo now aces
her weekly ting xie.
* Stars are self-awarded
A few factors for success:
* The words got easier
* I teach her, not KK
And the strangest thing, which
is perhaps not so strange after all.
She does incredibly well when
I ignore her. So I cook, throw her a word, go back to cooking, and once the
attention is off her, she rises magnificently to the occasion, getting all her
words right.
She does better the more she
is ignored. So I have to act like I couldn’t care less.
That’s Jo.
8 comments:
OMG, i drop my jaw at the textbooks-filled luggages! eye-opening pix. pardon my ignorance, but why do they need to bring so many textbooks during an exam? it's open-book?
yes its an open book 4-hour long exam. some people take the morning paper too (which kk has already passed), so they have exams from something like 9am to 5pm.
therefore need a lot of books.
The 2 dolls are going everywhere. Are they coming back to DArwin? Jun
u noticed!!! they love milly and molly.
yes dolls are coming to darwin. i hope to go back to the market, maybe buy a couple more from the grumpy old lady.
I'm impressed! Not many adults know how to ask for quantitative measurement of goals. And Day is not even 10 yet.
aiyo dont read so much into it la! i think its a v normal question, and kids in general ask a lot of great questions which adults cant answer.
I did well (and better) when people have low/no expectations of me too. My parents were pretty slack on me although they did the cursory nagging and such. Most of my penchant towards unrelenting standards came from within. In a sense, if people have no expectations, then the expectations I have of myself become all that I need to focus on, and therefore it is less stressful as a whole.
heh.
if a coincidence that my name is also Jo?
ah, the psychology of each kid is so tremendously interesting, its right up your alley!!
we'll see how she behaves further down the line... but generally she doesnt really thrive under external stress. as u rightly note (of yourself).
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