school songs

Who writes these atrocious school anthems which our kids have to sing once a week for 10 years of their lives?

I’d do it. English lyrics, composition of music and one piano recording for a fee.

Kidding. Maybe not.

The point is, I have for the first time learnt the kid’s school anthem. Again, thanks to Jo.

My goodness. How awful is this?

The words fall on the wrong beats, the melodic line is pedantic, I struggle to sing to the end without laughing or baulking.

It might have been done up by teachers or pupils out of love or a sense of duty, in which case all is forgiven. Because then the meaning behind the song would trump its badness, see. (I’m not being sarcastic here. I mean it. Sincere effort beats a commercial provider any day)

Back to my Giggly Episode for the day.

Jo comes back home, asks me to log on to the school website and turns to me ever so earnestly: Mummy, I learnt this song in school but I want to sing it better. Can you please help me?

I, all efficiency, snap into action. I grab her handbook with the lyrics, press play on the web player in the school website and prepare to sing with her.

I do. I make it through once without laughing. Only she makes me sing it with her 10 times. Lulu is on my lap.

I tell her number 10 will be the last. Only after we trail off at “Our pride you’ll always be…” she pipes up: But Mama, what about the “pillars of society…”?

Which is when I completely lose it. My shoulders shake. 

Her face crumples up and soon tears are rolling down her face: Why are you laughing at me, mama?

On my lap, like a diabolical chorus, grinning Lulu is humming what she just heard 10 times in a high falsetto “Ngee Ann…. Ngee Ann….” My stomach starts to hurt laughing.

I finally grab a hold of myself. I turn to Jo, eyes wet, and stammer: Jo, Jo we will get the pillars of society (giggle giggle). I promise you.

I make it through.

She continues practising through the night.