Monday, November 03, 2014

medieval dating

In a sudden burst of post-exam inspiration (the kind brought on by bad results), I decide that Day had better read more Chinese texts.

(It’s the sort of inspiration which characteristically fizzles out soon, until the next set of bad results)

* $5, August to October 2014 issue

The nearest thing on hand is a Chinese lifestyle magazine lying around their grandparent’s place. I randomly flip to an article. Day and I read through it. Yes I know its  a weird article for a 10-year-old boy but hey, education should encompass all aspects of life, no?


What a zinger.

Amidst talk of gender stereotypes and whatnot, the article, which lists out 10 tips for women to maintain a strong and healthy relationship, is prize-winning. Day easily gets through it because we can’t wait to get to the next tip. Its that funny.

Here are the 10 tips in summary, which must have been written by a chauvinist.

1. If your man has problems, don’t be too quick to trot out a solution lest he feels inferior.

2. Before he steps out for work in the morning, neaten his hair and straighten his tie.

3. Buy him fitting, comfortable and high-quality underwear because most men tend to neglect this and if you do, he will not go astray.

* My translation is not too far off the mark, no? 

4. Don’t just groom yourself, groom him too, and don’t be afraid that if you are too successful other women will fall for him because a relationship is built on trust.

5. Cook food which he enjoys and do not be afraid to experiment because the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.

6. Call him ‘dear’ (亲爱的) at every opportunity, regardless of whether he is at work, off-work, washing dishes or repairing appliances, and occasionally do give him a hug and say, “亲爱的, 辛苦你了!”

7. The hardest thing for a man is to remember special dates, in fact as long as the woman remembers these dates its good enough, as women also tend to think of far more romantic and warm ways to celebrate.

8. Do let him pluck your white hair.

9. When a man wants some silence because he is burdened with responsibilities and stress, he doesn’t want you to worry, so quietly walk away because he will be grateful for your understanding.

10. Women like to ask – Do you love me? Well a smart woman will come right out and say, I love you, as that will give her man a sense of security, and he will reciprocate.

Who spends $5 on these magazines? 

(I doubt my folks bought it, it was left at their place)


Charmaine said...

lol. 8. do let him pluck your white hair?!?

crabbycrab said...

hey, your Chinese is good, translation even better! :)

Sher said...

charmaine: i dont hv much and even if i do, he wldnt bother to pluck it for me!

crabby: the article is quite easy to read so i think still can. but if its any harder, i wont be able to. my chinese is not good.

Anonymous said...

Seriously? Haha