Tuesday, May 10, 2016

the ring


KK, for his 45th birthday, indulges himself. He buys a Bulgari ring.

It’s a centimetre-wide clunker of a ring, huge and heavy and totally at odds with KK’s role as the official family dishwasher, which he still is because I insist. (won’t detergent and suds get trapped under?)

It comes in a heavy box with sheen and a certificate. That ring cost more than my entire trip to Nepal.


I’m overall really terrible at buying presents for anyone (except kids perhaps) because I really hate shopping and I can’t quite relate to people who enjoy pretty packaging, things which cost a bomb because someone else was paid to brand it, and buying things which don’t actually serve any function in life. So I always end up buying not-very-nice presents.

I’m particularly terrible at buying things for my own husband because I can’t bring myself to spend on the things I know he’d like.

Now that ring has become part of our lives. It is a very striking ring and no one can miss it. Neither of us wear our wedding rings but he's taken to wearing this one. It's like a symbol of his, er, consultancy.


* Spot it

The moment I saw it, I sighed but left it at that.

Then within two days, KK turned to me as I was ready to nod off in bed at about 12 midnight: Did you see my ring?

What, what, what???

He took it off to cut a mango, and when he wanted to put it back on his finger a few hours later, it wasn’t where he thought it’d be.

I swear. My heart rate went up and I started hyper-ventilating. I flipped out of bed and started searching with him. First slowly and patiently, then increasingly desperately. We turned out the dustbins, searched through food peels and slimy mango skins, looked in all the nooks and crannies, found a lot of things but none of them were The Ring. We searched till past 2am then gave up.

I cursed the day he bought it. I thought – Why would anyone spend so much money on such a small useless thing so easily lost?

The happy ending is that Lu spotted it the very next morning at 630am as she was combing her hair in our dark bedroom getting ready for school. I asked if she saw it, she made what she meant to be a cursory search of our table, and there it was right in front of her at her eye level in the shade of a file. KK swears he searched that exact spot.

I said: The Ring is hiding from you. It was searching for Lu. I HATE that ring. I HATE it. It’s such a stressful thing in our lives.

He didn’t think it was very funny.

I didn’t think it was very funny either when he misplaced The Ring AGAIN a few days later.

He called from his golfing session – Did you see the ring somewhere lying at home on my table? I took it off to cut mango last night.

I swear. My sweet kid-free Sunday was instantly decimated. I tread tentatively to his table. It wasn’t there.

Worse. I had just spent the morning cleaning house. Vacuuming and whatnot. I didn’t see The Ring. A thousand questions haunted me as I searched in the most ridiculous places including boxes which hadn’t been opened in years: Did I accidentally vacuum it up and throw it away with the rest of the refuse? Had I accidentally swept it away as I was cleaning the table? Had I subconsciously hidden it somewhere? Was The Ring haunted?

He returned home with the kids. I screamed, I shouted, I yelled, which is totally out of character: How could you misplace it again? I’m so stressed!

I shut my mouth up when he miraculously found it in his jeans pocket, where he had put it the night before.

Me and this ring, we ain’t friends.


Anonymous said...

Lol.. the ring will haunt you forever.
We should go back Nepal then. Maybe Tibet or Bhutan. Jun

Anonymous said...



Anonymous said...

Maybe you should get him a ring holder/dish so that he can always set it down in one FIXED location. Hopefully that means no more lost rings and ring searches...

Sher said...

yup. now he only puts it securely in the ring box.