Thursday, June 23, 2016


Our children are our dependents, but I recently found out just how dependent some kids are. It came as a bit of a shock, although I kept my face straight.

The nine-year-old’s mother has been hospitalized and for the first time I had a peek into the reality of their home when I visited.

The father who works the night shift has to return home much earlier than usual so he can help the child – whom I’ll call X - get ready for school. This means bathing X and putting on the school uniform. X cannot shower or wear a shirt independently. Father then carries X’s bag to wait outside for transport to school.

Why can’t X shower independently, I ask the mother. Oh, X tried before but it wasn’t clean. The butt crack got itchy and I had to put cream on it. X thinks it’s dirty, does not like to put the hand near or into the butt crack.

Er, does X independently go to toilet to shit, then?

No. Mum has to wipe the backside.

What about in school? She replied, X never shits in school. In fact, sometimes, X will wait for Mum to come home before shitting so she can do the wiping.

X also did not brush teeth while she was in hospital, she lamented. A gargle will suffice.

I ask, why not?

Because X is unable to clean the toothbrush effectively after brushing. Toothpaste and particles are trapped in it. Rather than put the dirty toothbrush in the mouth, X would rather not brush, until Mum cleans it.

Long-suffering Mum agreed with me, that X is too dependent because she has done everything. She so protective, X has probably never been touched by a raindrop. (God forbid X gets wet, other than in the shower) And that her sickness is a good opportunity for X to toughen up.

I don’t like to judge. But … wow.


Karmeleon said...

Imagine that multiplied by 3 - in your case! If that were to be the situation. :p

Sher said...

i guess can.... but i really wont be able to do much else!

Karmeleon said...

Sure or not?! hahhaha

G said...

Wow...that's extreme. How does the kid function in school. Surely there'll be times where he/she would have to dress his/herself? Like after swimming lessons?

Anonymous said...

It sounds like a serious case of OCD or something along those lines? I think it might be good to try to get x to break out of this or it might continue to grow and become more serious. :x

Sher said...

G: mum goes along as a parent volunteer during swimming lessons. to do the changing, covering up with towel, providing hot milo...

anon: hv gently suggested to mum that it wld be good for x to be more independent.

Anonymous said...

This is probably a wake-up call for X's mum. An independent school teacher once told me about how some students (staying in the secondary school hostel) wore their underwear inside-out (because one side was already soiled) or who went to class commando -- because they did not know how to do their own laundry! -- June

Kat said...

9 years old and needs mom to wipe the butt? Is this for real? My youngest wipes her own at 3. Helps that I have bidet to ensure she's clean.

Sher said...

ya for real..