Tuesday, January 17, 2017


I was having a nice dinner with some friends when my phone beeped.

Ever since Jo lost her phone, she has had to use mine. She wanted me to text her friend to ask for some information. The friend was part of her chat group, but wasn’t yet reflected in my contacts. Borrowing KK’s phone, she sent me a Whatsapp message, one of the longest I've received which isn't spam, which made me laugh and laugh and laugh, even now, as I read it aloud. It's truly an Idiot's Guide.

Mama, this is Jody. So there's this person in '4U Alumni'. I didn't add her to your contacts yet, so you must do it (add her to your contacts) so that you can have a private chat. All you have to do is go to the group chat '4U Alumni' please ignore the messages, then go to the place where there's all the participants of the group. As you will see, all the people that I added to your contacts will start with a 'Jody'. But because I haven't added her to your contacts, she will be a number. So some of them have the tag thingy, like yours is 'Wong Sher Maine'. It's like the '~Whatever your name is'. Okay? So hers is '~Mary Lee'. Tap on it, and there will be a few things coming out. Tap 'Add to contacts'. Name it 'Jody Grace', then press 'Save'. Now you will have her contact. Go back to your WhatsApp home screen, and go to 'Contacts' Scroll down to 'J', and the find 'Jody Grace'. Tap on it, and then type, "Hi Grace, this is Jody. Can you send me a picture of Science activity book page 2 and 4? Thanks." Send it, and when she answers with the pictures, send them to Papa's phone. (This phone) And then you're  done! Thanks Mama!

Presumably she was afraid I would bungle up and its clear now how little she thinks of my tech abilities (she may be right). I wonder how long she took to type it, making sure all the spelling and punctuation is correct even in a Whatsapp to me, and how she managed to remember Mary Lee, the name of her friend's mum (her friend Grace was using her mum's phone too)

I followed her instructions to a T, since she took so much effort to instruct me. But I later asked her: Why don’t I message Papa this girl’s number, and you can message her yourself using his phone? (Hmmm)

She also noted with some displeasure that I did not capitalize the girl’s name properly when I saved it in my phone.

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